here's a quick rundown

-i've made three awesome friends that i would give my life for
-some guy gave me his number and well, that's a story in itself
-kandice and i sat down and figured out we had met and could claim to know over 45 people, the majority of which are male
-i have gone out almost every single night i've been here
-i realized just how much i love kids
-i've decided to put my degree more on an international track

i almost don't want to come home.

believe it or not, all these things are huge changes for me. College was one thing, it was major but it was nothing compared to this. When I got to Trinity I was shocked and I felt like my dream of what college life would be was destroyed before my eyes. Then I felt like my definition of who I was and what I believed was utter crap. That was devastating. But now, I'm in Ireland. I have to keep saying it because I don't quite believe it.  A lot of the time it feels like I'm going to wake up tomorrow in my dorm room in San Antonio and go with Liz and Britni to Wal Mart to get cookie dough and a movie from Hollywood Video. 

In the past 14 days, I have learned so much about myself and what I want out of life that it is almost overwhelming. I really like the attitudes of people here and was uttlery astonished at how similar they were to my own. I always felt like I was different at home. Different in a good way yes, but also different in a bad way.  Different in a way that made me less wanted, less successful. But here, I'm different because I'm American but even that isn't really a barrier to anything.  Being in another country really makes you see how ridiculous you are. In a way, I'm almost dreading coming home because I know it won't be the same, and I know I'll probably be bummed out for the first while that I'm there. 

I love that here, there is a work ethic, but it's pretty much you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. But when you're done, you enjoy life. They say that for every class there are about 4 hours of work that you have to do outside of it. It sounds like a lot. But in reality, it's not really that demanding. I have two days a week to commit to laundry and homework. 4 if you count Saturday and Sunday.  But at night, life starts. I don't just mean that people go out and get trashed. People actually enjoy each other's company. People dance. and yes, I do mean all people. Occasionally you'll meet the guy that stands and watches but even they are sociable. Hardly anyone talks trash. They make fun of each other yes, but that's part of the culture. Most of the people I've met are pretty up front and honest. And you know what? I've come out of my shell with people here faster than I ever have before.  I'm comfortable. 

We went on a homestay this past weekend in the country. I stayed with a family with 7 children and I absolutely loved them. The two kids that were there the most were 9 and 11. Terry and Jayne. They made me miss my nephews and my neice, but mostly, they made me realize that I do want kids. That's one thing. Before I came here, my mom told my sister that she was afraid I would give up on love and she was worried that I was going to come here looking for love. She was wrong. I pretty much already had given up on love and I came here to get away from everything. I ran away. I really did. But in the past two weeks (I know it sounds crazy) one of the things I've learned is just how important love is. It gives light to life. Of course I knew this before, but I didn't really know it. I knew it in a Casablanca, Cary Grant sort of way. You know romantic comedies. I also knew about obligated love and family love, but I had never really seen a happy love that didn't make me sick. Erik and Jenny were almost there, but you know. It's really too early to say anything about their relationship.  

The family I stayed with loved each other so much it made me so happy. I was so comfortable around them.  Mary and Austin cooked together and did the dishes together. They both put the kids to bed. I have this great picture of Mary holding Terry inside her jacket at a gaelic football match.  It's adorable. And my program, I am so happy with.  At orientation I was still a bit worried, but when we moved in to our flats, our coordinator James carried all our luggage and he's pretty much the most adorable man I have ever met. We're going to Zio's on the 12th (two days before Valentine's Day) to have dinner with him. And this professor from Coleraine drove us up to campus and convinced James to take us on a trip with him.  He's freaking awesome and incredibly helpful.

But mostly, I have learned to relax. I try to ignore the drama and just have a good time. And the thing that's most important is to laugh at yourself. I do it all the time. And it's probably what's helped me get along so well here. Everyone is going to make fun of you. The best thing you can do though is laugh with them, at yourself. They'll like you if you do.  Plus, it's so much easier to live life when you're not looking for things to be upset about. I love it. I love this place. I can't wait to see what happens the rest of the semester. 

And, I really like that my bonds with my siblings and with Liz (my roommate) are standing up. I am really happy about that. Being outside of America really helps me see what's important in life. And right now, the most important thing for me is enjoying it. I don't mean I'm going to go cliff diving tomorrow or anything. Just that from day to day things change and to a certain degree, you have to just live in the moment and let things happen. Not everything can be planned. I've said all this before.  I just never thought it was important because the American attitude is much more calculated and planned. Everyone in America has a datebook. And friendly lunches have to be penciled in. Here, what happens happens, and generally, its all good.

Well,  I have to go get detergent now because apparently the stuff I bought was just fabric softener. Oh fuck me. 

Hehe.

Peace

Well guys, I'm in Ireland. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye before I left, I'm horrible at keeping in touch and at saying goodbyes. I am pretty much socially disfunctional. 

Ireland is awesome. I love it. Though the gray skies could become annoying after a while. I absolutely love it, only having 3 classes a week, one class a day sounds like it's going to be awesome. 

I'll write more later. gotta go.